Work is.. overwhelming. It's not easy giving money away. There are the demanding ones, the send-multiple-emails-just-to-ask-something ones, the scolders, the scorners, the liars, etc. Then, there are those that just don't understand. Feeling drained.
And sometimes, I just don't want to get caught up with poison. Why waste energy trying to hurt people?
------------------------------
Yayy! Dear proposed! As much as crying is a bimbotic moment, I couldn't help doing it. Hahaha! Felt really bad 'cos we had a quarrel earlier in the day.. Well, I started the quarrel. Don't I always?
I'm so difficult to get along with. I'm demanding, stubborn, impatient.. Yet this man never fails to impress with his really strong patience. Like, really patient! Patient enough to overlook all my flaws and still decide he wants to spend his life with me. How awesome is that?
Being able to see my own flaws isn't necessarily a good thing if I can't do enough to change it. I've been thinking that this new job makes me extra bad, but what if.. after this scope, these character flaws get so ingrained in me I just don't realise how bad I am anymore?
------------------------------
Wanna note this down to read back in future.. One of the prettiest moments I'd ever experienced! So we went to Phuket for a holiday, to coincide with their Loi Krathong festival. We were gonna place nails and hair in our krathong, and set if off with the significance that all our bad fortunes will float away and our lives will be renewed with good blessings!
We got the necessary ready.. He lit the candle and he set it in the lake. We decided that the beach wouldn't be a good spot as the waves will push the krathong back. It's not very nice to have our bad luck pushed back toward us right? =P
So we were watching our little float sail, then he suddenly asked me to move back. We were standing at the edge of the floating platform, so I thought he was going to fall! Yeah so.. He nicely got down on knee and asked the magical 4 words =D
This nice ang moh saw and we quickly grabbed the chance to have him take photos. All in all, dear knelt 3 times for the actual proposal and photos after to capture the moment. Thanks nice ang moh!
Really simple, but I like it this way. 171113. Overseas, not in some restaurant, and with the element of surprise.
He was telling me later that he wasn't sure the airport scanner would let the ring go. As it was, before we boarded the plane to Phuket, the guard wanted to check his bag. He said that if the guard found the ring, he would have proposed on the spot. I think an airport proposal would be quite cute.
------------------------------
Monday, December 16, 2013
Friday, January 11, 2013
Enough
Probably had just about enough.
Drained, occasionally bi-polaring, lost faith, hope and want.
Perhaps I should grab the chance for a timely change? Or not..
Too much at stake. For parents, for the future family, for self.
But this isn't what I want to do. Doing something that is not your forte drains. Doing something that you don't like, kills. And where's the support?
Was walking to get some water; saw this old man with wrinkly skin and sunken lips munching on some cake. His lunch? His tea? No table, just a seat. This age, working; that spoke to me. He shouldn't be exerting. He should be enjoying his twilight years.
I want to be part of that. To soothe, to cajole, to demonstrate that the last leg of their journey will not be alone. Perhaps some volunteering? Some work hiatus to rejuvenate the soul? (By the way, ice cream is good for your soul.) Then off to xxxx to help some people! Again, circumstances do not allow the luxury of no pay.
Like many others, I'm also a master procrastinator. This desire was seeded years ago. Started in JC, perhaps? That's a good 10 years of non-action. *Slap!*
What do I want?
What do I crave?
What enlivens, or used to enliven, me?
What motivates?
My heart wrenched.
What calls?
I desperately need to rediscover my spark.
I want to do something that will help this particular group. Not the young, not the adults, but the old. Not the sick, not the dying, but the forsaken. Not the homemakers, not the disabled, but the aged.
But can this want feed me, my future family, my parents?
I used to live, to love, to yearn. Now, I'm zombified once again.
Is this what life truly is?
--------------------
Drained, occasionally bi-polaring, lost faith, hope and want.
Perhaps I should grab the chance for a timely change? Or not..
Too much at stake. For parents, for the future family, for self.
But this isn't what I want to do. Doing something that is not your forte drains. Doing something that you don't like, kills. And where's the support?
Was walking to get some water; saw this old man with wrinkly skin and sunken lips munching on some cake. His lunch? His tea? No table, just a seat. This age, working; that spoke to me. He shouldn't be exerting. He should be enjoying his twilight years.
I want to be part of that. To soothe, to cajole, to demonstrate that the last leg of their journey will not be alone. Perhaps some volunteering? Some work hiatus to rejuvenate the soul? (By the way, ice cream is good for your soul.) Then off to xxxx to help some people! Again, circumstances do not allow the luxury of no pay.
Like many others, I'm also a master procrastinator. This desire was seeded years ago. Started in JC, perhaps? That's a good 10 years of non-action. *Slap!*
What do I want?
What do I crave?
What enlivens, or used to enliven, me?
What motivates?
My heart wrenched.
What calls?
I desperately need to rediscover my spark.
I want to do something that will help this particular group. Not the young, not the adults, but the old. Not the sick, not the dying, but the forsaken. Not the homemakers, not the disabled, but the aged.
But can this want feed me, my future family, my parents?
I used to live, to love, to yearn. Now, I'm zombified once again.
Is this what life truly is?
--------------------
MAM
My awesome man.
Patient and forgiving.
Quick to concede and slow to anger.
Loving and caring.
Nicest words.
Heart-warming actions.
Capable of reducing me to giggles.
Aww..
--------------------
Patient and forgiving.
Quick to concede and slow to anger.
Loving and caring.
Nicest words.
Heart-warming actions.
Capable of reducing me to giggles.
Aww..
--------------------
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
