=(

I've been an idiot.

In no way would I ever want to hurt you.

You have been so patient, so loving, so caring, so understanding, so steady, so secure.

Have I given you enough in return for this 1 week?

All I can remember doing is smiling everytime I see you. Involuntarily,because my heart is just warmed up everytime I look into your eyes.

My questions were never meant to hurt and destroy. I was only teasing.

At other times.. My questions are to know how and what you think..

Or, how you feel. Because I care. I want you to be happy. Comfortable. Pleased. I want you to realise I will never want to do anything to try to hurt you.

But.. the more I know you, the longer I am with you, I can't help but feel that.. I'm not good enough for you. At all. You're the greatest catch ever.. Not me.

=(

I don't know what to do.

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frustration

I want to get it out of my system.. I really do.

I'm really really sorry about last night. If only you could see the changes in your expressions before and after I passed you the website. It's the 6th day.. And we are already going through so much stuff. I guess this is good.. Leaves us a little less troubles to deal with as we move on..

That is, if you still want to be with me. After these 5 days. I'm getting addicted to you!

www.ypyh.blogspot.com

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DDK

This is to you..

I guess my take on this isn't important. It never will be again. Letting go is probably hard, but there isn't much of a choice on this. I don't blame you for what had happened. It is over, I've cried my share, burned myself, gave up on what I had put into us. Don't get me wrong. I do see all that you have done for me, and appreciate all the efforts you've put in for me. However, being thankful simply isn't enough to keep me going.

It takes 2 hands to clap. I apologise for all my faults as well.

That aside..

I'm glad you appreciated my efforts. It's nice to know once in a while that I did not do everything in vain. Is Mark ok? The ankle will probably leave him out of games for quite a long time right?

I did not know that you saw my efforts in being your cheerleader every Saturday. Every Saturday. True? You committed yourself to your games, I committed myself to supporting you. Score for me. Improve. Get Man of the Match. Get the award for the best improved player. Don't worry. You will find a girl who is silly enough to give up her Saturdays to watch your soccer games every weekend.

But I get more tired each week. I gave a lot.. and you turned on me. Is my tolerance really that high? Even after I found out that..

Anyway, with regards to your dad, please learn to forgive and forget. It probably sounds corny, but he is, after all, your dad. I believe that I have stood by you long enough to know the history and events of your family. Yes, it is unfair to you, but your heart is more generous than this. Trust me, I know.

And I'm glad you stood up for Alex. I guess that's just what happens when people cannot open their eyes to see the facts more clearly. I hope that your family can one day be as close as mine is. I stand on yours and Alex's side.

I'm also relieved that you did not take it out on your bro's baby. She's innocent. I'm really really happy you're making an effort for your mum and niece.

You have grown. You found your job, you found your purpose, and you're making efforts. I'm really happy for you. Now, the difference is, it's not me who is standing by your side anymore. Don't miss me. No one is indispensable. There are better girls than me. They can probably make you happier than I ever did.

I've found my happiness now. He is someone who cares for me as much as I do for him. We understand each other's efforts and I hope we will always appreciate each other, so that it will never be one-way, and I will never tire of this.

As compared to us.. Though I will never regret our time together. It's taught me a lot. If I could turn back time, I would want to go through this experience with you again. And I sincerely hope for the best for your future. Because I still care.. as a friend.

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dinner

with 10 others! At Seoul Garden in Causeway Point.

K is leaving.. after trying to resign 3 times. Emo-ing again. I've been here only 2 months, but I've seen sooo many people leave. It's part and parcel of life and work, but I really can't help feeling a part of me is torn apart, everytime someone leaves. I've grown accustomed to my colleagues, and the quirky ways of some, but in the end, when it happens..

Dinner was great! The company is great. =)

I can't wait to get K's table. Muahaha..

Tonight was wonderful.

Oxymoron. Wonderfully sad.

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Even i still do not believe

=)

=)

It's simple. Really.

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the feeling of happiness

is not hard to come by right?

I really love this period of time.

Rustic, no-Singapore-crazy-rush setting.

Lots of trees, grasses, mosquitoes, snakes, beetles, spiders, ants, and other creepy crawlies.

My hero - Sa - who denies it but laughs everytime I call him my hero - caught 2 spiders and a beetle for me.

Mimi who comes everytime she is called.. though I still prefer dogs.

In-house lizard in the office which drives me crazy with its sounds.

Dead bugs out of nowhere.

Passion door that bangs.

Legacy that supports 700 pax.

Sustainable food opposite.. no choice, only coffeeshop within walking distance.

Most importantly, the best colleagues around (besides my stint in IJC and SSS).

M - cranky, yet incredibly stable and knowledgeable. Stoopid finger blaster. Now comes with 3 toys r us hammers.

L - sooo manly. Haha.. The steadfast in storms. Simply loves reminding me of my punch.

V - strong, straightforward, peaceful.

Sy - a tease, steady, dependable, patient.

C - amazing dinner mate. So much to give, if I have time to stay over at the instructors' house, have dinner with him alone, and spend some quiet, fulfilling evenings with him.

K - nonsensically awesome. Beauty, brains. Perfect combination.

AL - my protector. My mentor. Patient, understanding, thoughtful. Ever grateful to you.

E and J - epitome of US - independent, outgoing, sunny.

Lastly, you. Haha.. sweet, endearing, contagious, warm, supportive. Every minute is enjoyed, every moment savoured. Apparently, i got to thank AT for this.. And L for his efforts..

But, whether it works or not, only time will tell. Only God can give.

I wish, I hope, I want..

But what is 'it'?

And what will follow?

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Fishing

again!! Didn't want to go but still dragged myself out. Didn't regret it in the end.

Caught 10 catfish whose spikes are a little poisonous and a hassle to cook so threw them back in the sea. They're called Ah Seng. Not sure of English name.

Caught only 6 other edible fishes. I like!!

Saw people wakeboarding in the open sea too.. Boatman brought us to a few spots around Ubin and Singapore but I only caught in the morning and early noon. After that no bite already.

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