4 days 4 nights

How much time does it take for one to feel tired?

Have I changed, really? I see my girls.. So much more open, straightforward, clear, demanding. I see me.. I know what I want, but my style, my character.. It doesn't fit.

I find me cynical, sour and lacking in patience nowadays.

I was so happy 3 months ago. Today I've gotten what I had been waiting for, but I'm not the least ecstatic. Not one bit. The reality of it stunned me. The impact, the realisation.

There are parts I loved, and still do, but sometimes, certain issues outweigh everything else.

Well, now that I'm stuck, I know that there are at least 2 people who are willing to give me support.. Just one sms from L, and it really warmed my heart. It's not about being appreciated. It's about knowing that there's someone out there, near me, who understands what I'm going through, who empathises with my thoughts, who acknowledges my feelings. I shall keep that sms.

There is only so far that I can go to keep my worth. There is only so much that I'm willing to do, while I can, while I can..

There is only so much that I can take; I am not as strong as L. My heart rules my head. If this is to toughen me up, I don't like what's happening to me. I don't ever want to be bitter, demanding, irrational.

I don't need to be rich, famous, reputable, feared. I just really want to be nice.

My toes are laughing.. Nice people cannot survive in this world. Look at L.. He struggles so much more, yet blindness envelopes all..

There is more than 1 style in this world. I got to adapt. No one will hear reason.

I don't know what I'm talking about. Stop complaining, qoo..

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