Bye Bye..

It does hurt. The heart felt squeezeeeeeed.

Yes, everyone tries to help - do eat, do sleep, don't think so much, don't brood..

But all these are not conscious actions. Subconsciously, I'm hungry, but I can't chew. If I try to swallow too much, it's nauseating. I can't sleep, when I miss the familiar warmth beside me. I'm really trying not to think, but distractions are few and far between.. Besides, the heart is hurt, so, the mind is linked = Subconscious moping again.

A big thank you to all who have tried to help, though. I'll be able to feel warm and fuzzy again after the heart stabilises. Appreciate all the hugs and concern. Really. Now it just feels.. empty. Nothing is beautiful anymore.

One blow after the other.. Ms Nathan, then this.. How much can I take?

The East Coast breakwater; the bak kut teh; the Marina Barrage; the nights at CC; the rides to work; the rides home; the movies; the Genting holidays; the pickup from airport after my Vietnam trip; the simple nights spent at home; the early morning wake-ups; the morning lift hugs.

The liang tehs; the Macs; the Cup Walker bubble teas; the outings; the sicknesses; the black plate with a coin; the iPhone games; the korean drama; the nasi lemaks; the moomoo nose rings; the Stripey; the chew chew; the sunburnt skin; the scrub from Body Shop which apparently helped; the moomoo version 1 which never flew; the paws.. the paws.

The teasing; the loving; the joys; the smiles; the ups and downs. The day each month we spend together no matter what. My whole heart was given to you.

I did try. I did put in effort. Some are just not me, some I have been trying to for our sake. Everything needs time. Some made it, some in progress, some had visible results but needed polishing.

Perhaps time wasn't on my side.

And I wouldn't know unless you say.

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