enlightened..

J and GH had been grinding my head through their endless advice. Thanks, really, but seriously, it's always easier said than done. Anyway.. J only wanted to know if I made good use of his 20 mins, and GH's in for the gossip. Haha.. crazy guys. Always there for you when you feel down.

Mmm.. like I told G.. it's my closure. I'm waiting for xxx to happen so I can finally let myself go. It's more of a for-me thingy.

I used to think 'closure' was a cheesy word.. If you want to break up just break!! Nothing else after that. It's only now that I realised what I'm doing for myself is closure. My subconscious took too long to slap me awake.

G says closure is for people who have been through tragic relationships. Not really.. more of for people who'd invested so much yet end up being betrayed. It's not tragic. It's sad.

I don't know why I need closure this time. People who know me know that yes, I mope. I mope for lost things like a few days to a few weeks, but I get over things pretty fast because I know life's too short to spend it moping. These 4 mths were a maelstrom of terror for me.

Even S believes I'm an extrovert (I laugh- I'm so not that- sorry S), so I guess it comes even oddly to myself that I'm taking so long.

Well, xxx is coming soon. I'm looking forward to my closure. Psychologically my brain has moved on, but my heart wants to mope til closure happens.

That's what you get for investing your trust wrongly.

I'm not sore.. I told J I'd forgive, but I'll never forget. I know it goes against the Bible, but have you gone through my trauma before?

I'm so, so tired. Is it that obvious? BK hasn't seen me in a few yrs, and I was stunned when he said last night that I look like I had gone through a lot.

I want to be qoo again.
Happy qoo.